You have got to be kidding me! #1

I wrestled the old stove out of the house and to the recycling center in Fruitland while J was in Newberg. (Can you believe grand kid G sneaked up behind J when she was bent over and took a picture of her behind? If that picture ever gets published--oh, G, that would be real stupid,) I Talked them into 2 cents a pound and collected $6.50 from them. I had a bag of aluminum cans and a box of papers to go with the stove. Only one little problem in the process. I got the stove onto the dolly and after jerking the handle off the stove (it was going to be recycled so why be delicate), I steered successfully out the back door without taking off any of the molding or scratching the new washer. Whew! Going down the back porch stairs worked the leg muscles real well. Kind of got things lined up and made a rush. Worked. Then I got the pickup lined up and the ramp leaned against the tailgate and pushed the stove (still on the dolly) up the ramp. Ramp is narrow--about four inches wider than the wheels of the dolly. I could not walk the stove up the steep slant of ramp without causing my feet to slip out and crash onto my belly and have the stove fly back down the ramp with me still on the ramp. I was really trying hard to keep that vision from turning into reality. I got the wheels of the dolly finally over the lip of the ramp and onto the tailgate. Laid the dolly and washer down while I rested and began the deliberation of how to get the stove fully onto the pickup. During my deliberations the wheels of the dolly jumped the lip and the whole darn load came crashing down the ramp and fell off in a metallic thump onto the concrete apron of the garage. Dirty Rack of Bricks! I said something like that. Good news is that I was off the ramp while doing my deliberations. Pretty smart, huh? On the second try I succeeded because whereas on the first attempt I stopped to deliberate, this time I did not deliberate or stop for that matter either. Just bulled the thing up the ramp and while laying almost on my belly gave one final, mighty shove and succeeded in pushing stove and dolly onto the truck. Oh, My, was I glad that that worked. It works alot better not to have the wife around when I do things like that.

Now, I tell you that to set the scene for J and I picking up the stove from Sears in Ontario. We start off civilized enough with a lunch at Wingers. That is the good part of the day. Just wanted you to know that there was a good part. Got the stove. Sears puts it on the truck and even strapped it secure with my ratched strap. Nicely done. We are driving into Payette deliberating how we are going to get the stove off the pickup in one piece. I like to deliberate on these matters before starting the actual task now. Seems to work better. While driving into Payette in full deliberative mode, I was doing 50 in a 35 mph zone. Jane says slow down. I see the cop, who as he passes, is turning into a parking lot to turn around and come in our direction. I hit the brakes so that he can see those brake lights are on. He seemed to be satisfied with my belated attempt to follow the law. A Real Big Whew~!

Get to the house. Backing up to the front porch to unload as we did with the washing machine is not a good option. Even though the planter was cleared out of the way with the delivery of the washer, the ground is no longer frozen and I did not want to deal with the ruts my pickup would leave in the soft front yard. So J and I pushed the Toyota out of the way. (Battery is dead). I steered while J pushed. She said she hardly had to push at all. Much to be said about marrying a strong woman! We lined up the pickup to the side of the driveway over near the wood pile and set the ramp up on the tailgate so we could unload the stove onto the driveway where we turn the cars around after backing up out of the garage. Brilliant. Ramp slope was minimal and the stove rolled, under control, down the ramp with not even getting close to falling off. Wheeled the stove to the back stairs and decided to measure openings of the boxed stove before entering the back door. Oh, very good decision. J gets a serated butcher knife and we cut the box apart. Sorry, grandchildren. Now here is a vision for you. I am up and pulling the stove up the stairs. J is on the bottom pushing the stove up the stairs. (Oh, we did strap the load securely to the dolly before starting this task.) She pushes up the first step and keeps pushing. I am about to be ran over and have to yell, "One step at a time." Darn, strong women. I have to rest and gather strength for each step. Success, we are through the door. Wouldn't you know it, but the handle of the stove wants to rip off the handle of the sauna. Let the stove down and we scoot the now lower stove handle pass the sauna. Oh, yeah! How sweet it is. Get to the living room door and while I am trying to steer a tight turn, J is pushing us right on through and with me pulling we make it with just a little of the door jam ripped off. Dang it. If it is not a planter it is a door jam.

Finally, we are into the kitchen. We try to level the stove and after ten minutes of that horse pooey, give up and decide we can compensate while cooking.

Ah, now for the big moment. I get in back of the stove and look for the cord to plug into the socket. (Oh, by the way I cut a quarter inch piece of hard board to fit around the socket, so there is no more big hole around the socket left by our last contractors who remodeled the kitchen.) I am looking for the cord. "J, is there a cord in the oven or with the directions?" "No, I don't see a cord," she replies. After a few more minutes of searching, we conclude that the stove comes without a power cord. You have got to be kidding me! Nine hundred dollars and you don't get a power cord?

For $16.95 I bought a cord at Clausen's Hardware, came home (after forgetting my wallet which I had take out of my pants pocket because it hurt my butt while sitting on the floor waiting for Jane to find the blankety, blank cord causing for a second trip to town at these blankety, blank gas prices which the President was surprised to hear that they were so high, GEEZ!!) and decided that I had enough of stove for a day so spent the next three hours pruning shrubbery and rose bushes. J cooked dinner on the griddle and I posted the day's adventure and am planning to tie flies for the rest of the evening. Stove, what stove!