In my way of thinking shopping is like doing the dishes. It is one of the gottas in life. I try to make shopping trips as painless as I can. Painless in this case means spend as little as possible, get exactly what I want, and take as little time as possible. The emphasis is on the latter two. (Actually, J does most of the shopping and the dishwashing. This is my truth in posting obligation to you the reader.) Today, after work (got out 45 minutes early because of an academic award assembly) I stopped at Albertsons in Payette because it is on the way home. I needed shaving cream or some cheap substitute, pit stick, and toothpaste. I go into the store and head for the aisle marked cosmetics and whatever else. On the way I get detoured by a small stand with a few items marked down for quick sale. Ah, hah--buy two Old Spice pit sticks (not the type I wanted, but what the hey) for $5.00. I take one and thinking they had better not make me buy two. Head for the shaving creams and gels and buy the cheapest gel I can find--marked 2.79 a can. Do you suppose I can find toothpaste in that aisle? Yeah, Right. Looked to the aisle to the left, looked to the aisle to the right--no toothpaste. Now would you not put toothpaste in the vicinity of the pit stick and shaving supplies? Not Albertson. Of course, at 10:40 a.m. there are no "clerks" available to help. If there was a clerk then it would be even--one clerk and one customer. So, I am thinking that Albertsons is probably going to charge me too much for these items, that I have to pay sales tax, and I am pissed because they moved the peanut butter away from the bread two years ago and put the peanut butter in some obscure aisle that I still have trouble finding (obviously I still have not forgiven them for that---don't mess with my peanut butter!), so I retraced my steps, put all the items back on the shelf (neatly and in the proper place mind you--I am not a retail-terrorist, yet) and got in the car and drove from Payette to Walgreens in Ontario. As I was reading through their flyer about items on sale, a young lady asked if she could help me. No, I said, I was just checking if the things I needed were on sale--ah, hah--the Crest toothpaste is on sale. I head down the aisle and am looking over the choices for shaving gels, cream, lotions, etc. (big choice) when another clerk asks if I needed help finding something and made a recommendation to me. Ended up buying another, but I thought it was nice of her. Asked where the toothpaste was located and was led to the aisle. Ended up buying two tubes of toothpaste (2 for $5), one pit stick of the type I wanted, and a shaving gel all for $10.08 and, of course, in Oregon I saved 60 cents on sales tax. (I don't feel bad about that because two years ago Acting Governor Risch called the legislature into a special session to raise our sales tax by a percentage point so that we could all enjoy a break in our property taxes. The next year my property tax is even higher than the previous year because my property was "re-evaluated". I am still pissed over that. Oh and get this, an article in the Idaho Statesman last week said that we should not expect a reduction in our real estate valuations because of the recent downturn in real estate values. At the register my sales receipt included a $4-off coupon on my next purchase at Walgreen. So the purchase really only cost $6.08. Match that Albertsons! Oh, Wow! Just as I typed Walgreen this time I remembered I have to get off an order for three months of prescriptions. I am down to the last week of pills.
Shortly after arriving home, J goes out to get the mail and I get a phone call--from the FBI. Really. The agent says his name and that he is with the FBI. My response? "Yeah, Right! So did Mel Person put you up to this or Mike Knee?" No, he says, he really is with the FBI, and can you believe, he was just talking to Mike Knee at his office. About that time J comes in shouting about something and now I can't hear either of them. I have to tell Jane that I am talking with the FBI. that quiets her down, and apologize to the FBI agent. He was calling to do a background check on a former student. Yeah, for those of you who really don't think what you did in high school makes a difference, teachers really do get calls about their former students from the FBI, sometimes from the Department of Defense, and sometimes the Treasury Department.
Try this:
1. WITHOUT anyone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY......), lift your right foot off the floor and make Clockwise Circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your Right Hand. Your foot will change direction.
Papa Coyote has to finish a letter of recommendation. Friend of mine wants to enroll in a private university to earn a Masters Degree in Education. The school wants two letters of recommendation. I am thinking they are a private school. If he pays the outrageous tuition charges, he qualifies. But, we all have to play their game.
Papa Coyote Loves You'all,
Yeeeeeeeeooooooooooow!!!!!
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